1. TAKE DEEP BREATHS
Why: Being able to stay calm, relaxed and well balanced during an argument or a conflict depends on the ability to relax your body. Slow and shallow breathing is your body’s response when confronted with arguments, conflicts or stress. Stopping this natural and evolutionary response will help your body to remain calm. Breathe and inhale deeply.
How: Deeply inhale through the nose before slowly exhaling through the mouth. Smooth, deep breaths will cease the production of two stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol.
2. CONCENTRATE ON YOUR BODY
Why: When you concentrate on physical sensations that arise during a conflict it permits you to mindfully change these physical sensations. When your focus switches to the body, you can feel the tension, shallow breathing, etc. that accompanies stress.
How: When you notice your body beginning to tense, return your posture to a neutral state by relaxing your shoulders and hands. This open position communicates positivity using body language – and often diffuses conflict.
3. ACTIVELY LISTEN
Why: A person will initiate an argument, or some other kind of conflict, if they feel they’re not being heard. Furthermore, it’s impossible to diffuse a conflict without attentive and active listening.
How: When someone is talking, focus all of your attention on what the person says. Ignore any thoughts of constructing a response. Once the person finishes speaking, you have the necessary information to respond intelligently.
4. ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Why: Open-ended questions are invaluable in conflict resolution. First, open-ended questions demonstrate that you are attentively listening. Second, these type of questions show respect for the person by allowing them to articulate their thoughts.
How: Learning to ask open-ended questions can be a bit tricky for some people. The easiest way to avoid asking “Yes” or “No” questions is not to use the words “Do,” “Don’t,” “Did,” and “Didn’t” when asking a question. Instead, use the words “What,” “Why,” “When,” and “How.” Try it now. Notice the difference?
5. KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN
Why: The easiest way to escalate conflict is raising your voice. On the flip side, one of the easiest ways to diffuse conflict is lowering your voice. Voice level is also linked to blood pressure. When BP reaches a certain point, it becomes more difficult to understand what’s being communicated.
How: The first step is to diffuse the initial anger of the other person. You can’t do this by raising your voice. On the other hand, you can quickly impart a sense of calm by making the conscious decision to lower your voice.
6. AGREE TO DISAGREE
Why: Not every conflict will produce amicable or mutually agreeable results. However, you can avoid deepening the conflict by politely disengaging from the conversation.
How: One law of interpersonal conflict is that it takes two participants. Separating yourself from an argument is appropriate under one of two circumstances: (1) the person becomes increasingly hostile, or (2) the conversation, despite your best efforts, is not going anywhere.
We hope you enjoyed this article and know that unless you happen to know exactly all the time what is happening inside you and you are self aware at all times, you will be angry at some point. All human beings are emotional. The ability to feel can be used to help us or it can defeat us. It can be to our advantage of be detrimental to our well being. Also, remember to forgive yourself whenever you do act in a way that you are not proud of. There will always be a time when we all act in a manner that is not our proudest moment.
By following one or more of the six tips given, you will assuredly feel more confident in any conflict. As a result, you’ll use your emotions and self-regulation to your benefit. Doing so, you will gain the trust and confidence of people in your good and even temperament.